Thanksgiving with Nana

Anjali's Nana came to visit from November 19th through the 30th and she was full of surprises to the delight of little Anjali.  She arrived off the airplane with a big teddy bear and her sweet smile and it was obvious that Anjali and Nana were going to get along smashingly!  Nana, is a passionate, loving, and creative person who can easily shift into the imaginary play world of little ones.  She and Anjali had a great time playing together and hanging out.

We visited Marbles children's museum for the first time and Anjali was simply blown away by the world of imaginary play that was there.  We  spent most of the time on the first floor where there is a section called Around town that has different stations for kids to play.  There is a fire truck, ambulance, theater area, farm area, vet area, newscaster helicopter, and grocery market and kitchen.  Anjali enjoyed the kitchen the most.  Then it was on to Splash and the Pirates cove before heading upstairs to do a few art projects in Idea works and the art loft.  Only 5 minutes from our house, I knew that this was going to be a place we would visit often.

Nana made Thanksgiving extra special for Anjali and all of us.  Adam's favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and pies are his favorite Thanksgiving food, so having his mother there to bake fresh pumpkin and apple pies warmed all of our hearts and tummies.  She also made the most amazing homemade rolls that simply melted in your mouth. We all enjoyed cooking the meal together and Anjali was super impressed by the "big turkey."  Nana brought a special Thanksgiving plate for Anjali and a chocolate turkey.  Anjali wore the outfit Nurse Sujata gave her as a going away present and she looked absolutely adorable.

The weather was amazing so the Friday after Thanksgiving, we took a bike ride to Pullen park which is a paradise for young kids and a place that Anjali loves.  There is a beautifully restored carousel, train and great playground for kids.  Being the day after Thanksgiving, it was, of course packed, but we all enjoyed watching Anjali build some new playground skills with Nana's enouragement  as she imitated some of the other kids there. 

Over the weekend, we headed out to Seagrove, which is a place known for pottery.  The drive through North Carolina farmland was absolutely lovely this time of year and we got to stop off at several unique pottery studios.  Anjali enjoyed seeing potters spin clay on the wheels.  She tried her best to explain what she saw with hand gestures and words over and over again on the ride home.   It obviously made an impression on her.  We also stopped by Starworks, a glassblowing studio in Star North Carolina to visit Adam's friends Eddie and Angela.  Adam whose passion and vocation used to be glassblowing wanted to make sure, Anjali got to see a little bit of what that was all about after spending all day in pottery studios.

On Sunday we walked to the local playground and then to Escazu, a wonderful little chocolate shop in the neighborhood.  We each picked out a couple of delicious chocolates and enjoyed them on the outdoor picnic bench.   Another glorious day to be outside.

Nana's visit came to an end too quickly, but she left an impression on little Anjali.  She also left lots of little surprises around the house like a mini Christmas tree, some sweet treats,  and a plant for the kitchen that will bloom a beautiful red flower soon.  Anjali is so lucky to have her wonderfully spirited Nana and she knows it!

Settling into Life in Raleigh

The fall colors in Raleigh this year are absolutely lovely.  It has been a wonderful time to come back to the city we made our home 3 years ago.  Once my parents left I had a few weeks to get into a routine with Anjali a bit before her Nana (Adam's mother) came to visit.  What I am most interested in right now is getting her to feel comfortable and secure in her new home and for us to bond as a family.

After the initial couple of weeks of getting over jet lag, Anjali has settled into a nice sleeping routine. She usually goes to bed without much trouble at around 9:00 pm and wakes up between 7:30 am and 8:30 am.  We got Anjali her own bed and were wondering how difficult it might be to get her to sleep in it.  Luckily, she was really excited about it and it turned out to be really easy.  Her room is adjacent to ours with a door leading into our room, so I positioned her bed so that she could see ours.  The first couple of nights, she came into our room in the early hours, but most of the time now she sleeps through the whole night in her bed.  Papi, our pitbull, has taken to sleeping at the base of her bed and they are pretty cute together.

Anjali is really tiny for her age.  She had her first visit with her pediatrician, Dr. Foster, on November 10th and it went well.  She doesn't fear hospitals or doctors which is good.  She weighs 27 lbs and is 37 inches right now.  Dr. Foster commented on how well she must have been cared for at the orphanage and how healthy she seems now.  She eats well most days.  Her comfort foods and the ones that she sticks to are oatmeal cereal for breakfast, dahl and rice at least a few times a week, cucumbers, oranges, egg, goldfish crackers and chocolate.   We have tried to slowly introduce new foods into her diet and if we can get her to try something she usually likes it, though she is not always willing to try new foods the first time she sees them.  I also give her a multivitamin and omega 3 supplement every day.  She drinks a healthy amount of water and will drink juice and milk occasionally.  

I have been exploring local community resources to find things for Anjali to do.  We do storytime at the Cameron Village library on Mondays with Mr. Erik and check out a few library books each week. I have enrolled her in a gymnastic class at the Little Gym which has been a great way for her to socialize with a small group of kids her age and have fun being active.  Mr. Daniel, her teacher, is from Australia and has been here about the same amount of time she has.  We walk the dogs at Lion's park and go to the playground there on a regular basis.  I put up an eraseable weekly calender on our refrigerator and everyday we discuss our schedule and write down important events of what we are going to do or have done.  I am still trying to figure out how to best use it, but she enjoys doing it and asks to do it, so it's something I will keep doing.  It has been great for teaching her time signifiers as well such as days of the week and yesterday, today and tomorrow.   I am learning about more and more things that she can do and am enjoying seeing her expand her horizons as she adjusts to life here, but we also have lots of time together at home and she loves imaginary play with her dolls and toys.

Her room has been a work in progress.  She and I took a road trip to Charlotte when Adam was out of town on business.  We had a picnic lunch at a rest stop along the way and had a blast exploring Ikea.  There are so many cute, cheap items for kids.  I found a lot of nice items for her bedroom including a small dresser and night stand as well as a few cute toys that I couldn't resist buying even though I told myself I wouldn't buy her any more toys until Christmas.  We ended the day with ice cream cones and made it home by 7:30pm.  Adam and I spent the following weekend putting the furniture together and her room is slowly coming together.  She loves it regardless and enjoys spending time there playing. 

There is still a few things to do to finalize our adoption.  We are waiting on her certificate of citizenship and then will have to file for adoption in the state of North Carolina.  We have monthly and quarterly reports that must be completed and visits from our social worker.  Our social worker is an adoptive mother and has been a great support.  She let me know about Project Enlightenment that is a community resource center for preschool age kids.  They have a preschool there as well and I am hoping Anjali will be able to attend the preschool next year.    It has a child friendly library with a large collection of books for adults and preschoolers.  It also has a production area for making crafts and a playground.  Wonderful place!

It's a lot of fun planning out our days together and I am looking forward to continuing to support our daughter's adjustment as she learns new things each day and becomes more and more confident in her new life.

Homecoming #2: Raleigh and Aji&Ajoba

Home.  What a feeling to watch our plane descend down to Newark.  Our flight to Newark was long, but went fine.  Anjali slept for the first 10 hours or so and then we managed to find things to keep her busy after that.  Once off the plane, I felt so happy and relieved.  We were taken to a special part of immigration to give them the sealed envelope that we received from the U.S. embassy and then it was on to get our bags.  Unfortunately, when we headed out from baggage claim we learned that our flight to Raleigh had been cancelled.  Ugh...Six more hours of waiting to get home.  Although we were all tired, Anjali didn't seem to notice that we were in a new country.  In her mind, it was probably just another new adventure for a visit.

My parents came to pick us up and I can't tell you how completely thrilled we were to see them.  My parents helped us so much while we were in Patna.  We really couldn't have done it without them.  They came to Raleigh in July and watched our dogs and took care of our home for us.  The plan was originally for them to come to India and for Adam to go back to Raleigh after getting us settled in Patna, but Adam was able to stay for the entire duration and work remotely which was truly what was best for Anjali.

As we headed back to our house, we began to get a sense of all the wonderful, thoughtful  things my parents did for us.  First, of course, was a car seat for Anjali.  They decorated the house up for our welcome home with flowers, balloons and signs.  They had a hearty American meal of ham, scalloped potatoes, and green beans waiting for us when we got home.  My father created a drainage area in our backyard and added some grass and many other little home projects.  Our dogs were happy and well fed and had the shiny coats that they always get whenever my mother is around to groom them. The list of thoughtful, loving things they did for us goes on and on...I will never be able to thank them enough.  There were gifts waiting from other family members as well.  Books from my brother and family, a beautiful Mexican table and chairs and teapot set from Nana, Adam's mom, a dress and subscription gifts from Papi and Pixie, Adam's father and stepmother, and a couple of boxes of clothes from Aunty Tata and Gemma and Giselle, Adam's sister and daughters.  It sure is wonderful to have such a loving supportive family to come home to!

For the first couple of days, we really relied on my parents as the exhaustion and jet lag kicked in.  There was a lot to do around the house as we had not had the chance to childproof the house or get Anjali's room ready.  We got a few necessities and my parents brought home toys and some clothes for Anjali once they got to know her a bit.  

The first week back was a bit of a fog.  Anjali took to my parents right away.  Every morning when she woke up, the first thing she wanted to do was to go down and see them.  My mother was able to speak Hindi to her and I credit her with successfully potty training Anjali while she was here.  We got a little toilet for her and then my mom got a second one for her for downstairs.  She also had a talk with her in Hindi about how it wasn't nice for her to go in her diapers and make her mom clean up after her.  It seemed to work!

Halloween was a week from when we got home, so we all decided to be zoo animals for Halloween though we weren't sure what we would do for Halloween.  I was a panther, Adam was a bird, my father was a gorilla and my mother was a leopard.  And Anjali was the cutest zebra ever.  Adam made her a really sweet zebra dress and then she put on zebra ears and striped stalkings.  We ended up just trick or treating around the neighborhood which worked out well.  There were a lot more kids than there had ever been before and Anjali thought it was amazing that you could go from door to door to get candy.  It was the perfect American holiday to start her out with!

Anjali was a little timid around Papi and Leela at first.  They were very gentle with her and she quickly got comfortable with them. She especially likes to give them kisses and tell them what to do.

We shared lots of nice meals together and took Anjali for walks at Lion's park where there is a nice playground in a wooded area.  The time with my parents went by fast as we began to recover and get used to our new life as a family in Raleigh.  Family and home, home and family...I think I have truly learned to appreciate both more than ever through this journey.

x

Delhi: The Final Stretch

I wish I could say that our time in Delhi went smoothly and was stress free, but for me it was possibly the most stressful time of all.  We were able to take a direct flight from Pune to Delhi that left at 11:00 am on October 18th.  It was a quick two and a half hour flight.  Anjali had become a pro at flying by this point.  We got her a small Indigo plane as a souvenir of all of her flights so far and she was even beginning to understand the importance of wearing a seatbelt at takeoff and landing.

I was full blown sick with a chest cold by this point and all I wanted to do was get to our guesthouse so I could rest before our medical appointment the following day. Anjali was also a bit conjested, but seemed to be more on the mend. Our in country reps, Mini and Sanjeev were there to pick us up from the airport and it was great to see them.  Delhi has the world's worst air pollution followed ironically by Patna and I could feel the impact of the smoggy air on my lungs.  The other thing about Delhi is that the traffic is awful.  Our guesthouse was in South Delhi near the Sarita Vihar metro stop and we chose it specifically because it was near a metro stop.  Delhi has a wonderful metro system that was built quickly and revenue generating within the first week of being built.   New stations are being built all around the city.

Our guesthouse hosts, Atul and Marina were lovely and helpful.  It was a three story house where we stayed.  Atul's parents live on the bottom floor, while Atul and family live on the second floor and then there are rooms for guests on the top floor.  We ate a light lunch with our hosts and then Anjali and I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the following morning.

Medmax the medical facility where Anjali had to get her checkup was approximately 10 miles from where we were staying.  Our appointment was at 11:00 am so we left an hour early.  Unfortunately, we got stuck in gridlock traffic and arrived an hour late.  I was barely functional at that point, but luckily it was a great facility and they saw us right away despite our lateness.  We met with a doctor who did a brief check up of Anjali and looked over the medical and vaccination records for Anjali.  Then a nurse gave Anjali the TB injection.  She was very brave and only whimpered slightly when she felt the needle prick. We were in and out in less than a half an hour.  We had coffee with Mini and Sanjeev after the appointment.  Mini got Anjali and I some medication for our congestion.  Anjali was definitely feeling better, but me not so much.  I went home  and slept all afternoon while Adam looked after Anjali.  Our guesthouse was near a big park and also there was a close by playground.  Anjali is a very active girl and loves going to the playground, so having parks within walking distance was a huge blessing.

Atul and Marina have an 8 year old son and 10 year old daughter and both played with Anjali.  They are such a sweet family and it was nice to spend time with them.  Anjali warmed up to Marina and Atul as well.  It was nice to see the progress she has made in her social skills.  She is now comfortable and secure that we are a family and is beginning to engage with others once she gets to know them.  She is a naturally social girl and I am happy she is beginning to open up to others.

Our follow up at Medmax went very smoothly on Saturday.  We were in and out in about 45 minutes.  I was grateful that the medical portion was so easy and that it was at such a nice facility.  I was beginning to feel better on Saturday, but I can't think of a worse place to be than Delhi if you have a chest cold.  I was coughing quite violently from the congestion and bad air.

We were still waiting on a birth certificate from Nalanda which we needed for our Embassy appointment on Monday and we were also trying to find a way to wire the remaining foreign adoption fees which we learned we still owed while in Pune.  We figured we could probably use the court order if the birth certificate didn't come through, but Nalanda ended up emailing us a copy of the birth certificate on Sunday which was a relief.

On Sunday, we took the metro across town to Novelty Exports.  This is the shop where Adam and I got our wedding rings in 2009.  Adam lost his wedding ring while we were living in Germany and we had come back last December during our first visit to get another ring.  I lost my wedding ring this past summer during a tether ball game against Adam while visiting his parents in Seattle, so I was eager to get a replacement.  Novelty Exports is a family owned shop owned by a family from Kashmir with jewelry and items from around India.  We ordered the rings and bought gifts for family back home.  The shop owner gave Anjali a pretty green scarf that she loves to wear. We stopped off in Connaught Place for lunch and bought another carry on suitcase then headed home.

Our embassy appointment on Monday was a bit disappointing in the sense that it was kind of like going to DMV to get your license.  The embassy is in a really beautiful part of Delhi where most of the embassies are and the roads are lined with beautiful greenery.    I felt so happy to see the U.S. Embassy when we arrived.  You have to check in your cell phones at a kiosk on the other side of the embassy.  While we were going through security, my flash drive was found which is also a forbidden item to bring in to the embassy, so Adam had to run back out to the kiosk before we could enter.  Once through security we were directed to follow a red line that takes you inside the embassy.  The staff is all behind glass and you are given a number and told to take a seat until you see your number appear on the computer screen.  The good news is that adoption cases do receive priority and we were called up quickly.  Adam went up to the window while I stayed with Anjali in a small play area for children.  The credit card machine wasn't working, but luckily Adam had enough cash on him to pay the fees.  Finally, we were called up for our interview.  I had envisioned that the interview would take place in someone's office, but it was just at a different window.  We had to take an oath at the window and then were asked a series of questions.  It was all very efficient, but really impersonal.  We were told that the embassy had not received the Article 23 from CARA and would need that before they could issue Anjali's visa.

We left and headed for the CARA office.  Mini phoned Dr. Pati who is sort of the head honcho (can't remember what his official title is) at CARA.   He saw us once we arrived and directed his staff to get us a copy of the Article 23 while we waited in his office.   We got the copy and also had the staff give us a copy of the email that they sent to U.S. Embassy.  We then went back to the U.S. Embassy and hand delivered the Article 23 just to make sure.  We were told that Anjali's visa would be ready by 2:00 on the following day.

We got the visa with no issues the following day then stopped back by Novelty Exports to pick up my ring.  We had an early dinner with Mini at a vegetarian restaurant and then headed for the airport getting there a little earlier than planned.  At about 7pm we were able to check in our baggage and then headed for the immigration line and we really thought we were on our way home at that point.  

And then our world unraveled.  The immigration agent called in his superiors who told us coldly that we needed to get an exit permit for Anjali and that we would need to rebook our tickets once we got it. What ensued was many hours of arguing with immigration and airport officials.  We couldn't believe that after all we had been through we would get blindsided by this while going through immigration and we knew it was a power ploy by a disgruntled official. We were so exhausted and upset when we finally left and poor Anjali was a wreck as well.  We left the airport at around 1am and had to search for a hotel room.  We stopped at Ibis and Holiday Inn that were both fully booked and then just ended up staying at the JW Marriot, one of the most expensive hotels in Delhi because it had rooms and we coudn't bear to keep looking.

The following day Adam went out to figure out what to do about the exit permit while Anjali and I stayed at the hotel.  He first went to the U.S. Embassy then to the CARA office where he was basically told that you shouldn't need an exit permit, but since immigration is asking for it, you should go ahead and get it so you don't have any problems.  Then he went to the FRRO office to get the "exit permit."  It turns out it is the parents not the child who can be issued an exit permit.  Nobody at the FRRO office knew what to do and Adam was there for 5 hours dealing with it.  He met another couple from Chicago who also had spent the last couple of months in Gujarat fostering their daughter and who had been sent over by the U.S. Embassy after what happened to us.  We needed a C form from our hotel and passport photos of each of us which luckily we had.  My husband returned from the office totally exhausted with our exit permits and we decided we wouldn't leave until Thursday.  We struggled a bit to get our tickets changed, but finally got an United agent on the phone who changed our tickets free of charge.

We spent the following day resting up at the hotel.  We slept in late.  We took Anjali to the pool where she tooled around in the water with Adam.  Luckily we could do a late check out and we left the hotel at around 8 pm.  Adam was much calmer at this point, but I was still on edge not believing we would get through.

At the airport, we had a kind United agent console us for what happened and apologize for immigration.  We were directed to go to the diplomat line in immigration and were never asked for the exit permits.  From there we got some snacks for the flight, exchanged our last rupees and went to the boarding gate.  We were so relieved.  Going home FINALLY!!!   I have never been so happy to board a plane for a fifteen hour flight.

Homecoming #1: Mumbai and Pune

I can't tell you how happy we were to finally be going to Mumbai and Pune to visit family.  I had really hoped we would get there sooner, but we really needed to be in Patna to see that every step was taken care of or it simply would not have gotten done.  I am certain of this.  Our flight had a layover in Lucknow though we did not get off the plane and the flying time from Patna to Mumbai was about 3 hours.  Anjali did fine on the flight.  She didn't sleep, but she had enough to keep her occupied.  There were some really fabulous billowy clouds on the way and we looked at them in wonder as we traveled through them.

My cousins Aarti and Sarita met us at the airport in Mumbai.  They gave us big hugs and a warm welcome.  Mumbai had always been our first stopping place on trips to India when I was growing up.  My Uncle Daji, who was a Superior Court judge settled there while Aarti, Sarita, and their two brothers Niranjan and Jaideep were growing up. We passed the apartment where they used to live as we traveled on the highway to Sarita's apartment.  We drove across the Sea Link bridge, a new cable suspended bridge that wasn't there when we visited in 2009.  The bridge reminded me of the Bay Bridge in the Bay Area.  We felt like we were back in the 21st Century again.

Sarita had a roomful of balloons waiting for Anjali as we entered the apartment.  This totally broke the ice for Anjali.  She couldn't resist playing with the balloons.  Then came the cake for her with candles and her name on it.  She felt so special and enjoyed cutting the cake and eating the frosting.  She warmed up to Sarita first who she followed into the kitchen and in no time Sarita was holding her.  Sarita's daughter, Ruhika was there for a bit before she had to go to class.  She is studying clinical psychology and also is the lead singer in a band!  We were able to listen to a recording of her singing and were so impressed.  Anjali is quite musical and perked up when the music came on.  Sarita made us a really delicious fish curry that evening.  When we finished Anjali spent about a half an hour playing with balloons with Aarti.  Both worked up a sweat from the back and forth game. We headed to bed early as the plan was to drive to Pune in the morning.   

When we woke up Raja, Sarita's husband was there as he had gotten in late that night from a business trip.  We had a quick breakfast and then headed out to Pune.  Mumbai hasn't really changed that much, but Pune has become a metropolis in my lifetime.  It has been India's fastest growing city for the past 20 years and I am blown away by how much it has changed and grown.  Predictions are that soon Mumbai will connect with Pune.  The highway to Pune was easy traveling and the area between Pune is mountain resort towns.  Big billboards were everywhere advertising getaways and vacation homes. 

We visited my aunt Akkamau first.  She is the oldest of my mother's sisters and sort of the head of the family.  She lives with my cousin Sunnu, his wife Archana, their college age son Arthava and their two big dogs, Max and Bruno.   She has been a great support for us sending emails to me filled with advice and messages of encouragement.  She was so happy to see little Anjali. We had a wonderful lunch prepared by Archana and Akkamau had made a couple of dresses for Anjali that she of course wanted to try on immediately.  My Aunt Vijimau called from Banglore who I had hoped to visit as well, but there was just not enough time.  My cousins Anu and Alka stopped by and then there was more cake for Anjali sent compliments of her aunt Suja.  There were two more meals served that evening even though we were told we would eat a light dinner!  Everyone made us feel so welcomed and Anjali warmed up to everyone very quickly.  It was as if she knew this was family.  She wasn't clingy and was fascinated with Max and Bruno, though didn't pet them until the next day. 

The following days were a whirlwind.  We went to the Pune zoo and went to a McDonalds afterwards.  Anjali didn't care too much for the food, but loved the playroom that had a trampoline and inflatable slide.  Everyone took turns holding Anjali and interacting with her at the zoo.  She had so much fun.  The following day my cousin Chitra paid us a visit on her lunch break.  Anjali and I were both coming down with a cold at that point, but having fun regardless.

The following day we spent the morning getting passport photos that we would need in Dehli and buying a few gifts.  We spent the afternoon with Akkamau and family then headed to my cousin Niranjan's house.  Niranjan is actually working in Australia right now, but we got to spend time with my aunt Taimau, his wife Shilpa and my nieces Tanvi and Janvi.  Then we headed to my cousin Anu's house for dinner.  On the way there we passed by the wedding hall where we got married which is near Niranjans apartment.   My aunt Surekha, cousin Shaila also came to visit.  We had a delicious south India meal.  

The following morning we headed for Delhi.  The visit was way too short, but I was so grateful to have had the opportunity to bring Anjali home to her family in India.  It meant so much to see everyone and they were all so loving towards Anjali and made her feel so special.  Anjali can feel proud of her culture and heritage knowing she has so many people who love her in India.  My generation in our family has spread their wings wide and far around the world.  I have cousins in Malaysia, England, Oman, Dubai, Australia, Canada and Bahrain.  Hopefully Anjali will have the opportunity to some day visit them all and we will definitely take her back to India when she is older.