Homecoming #2: Raleigh and Aji&Ajoba

Home.  What a feeling to watch our plane descend down to Newark.  Our flight to Newark was long, but went fine.  Anjali slept for the first 10 hours or so and then we managed to find things to keep her busy after that.  Once off the plane, I felt so happy and relieved.  We were taken to a special part of immigration to give them the sealed envelope that we received from the U.S. embassy and then it was on to get our bags.  Unfortunately, when we headed out from baggage claim we learned that our flight to Raleigh had been cancelled.  Ugh...Six more hours of waiting to get home.  Although we were all tired, Anjali didn't seem to notice that we were in a new country.  In her mind, it was probably just another new adventure for a visit.

My parents came to pick us up and I can't tell you how completely thrilled we were to see them.  My parents helped us so much while we were in Patna.  We really couldn't have done it without them.  They came to Raleigh in July and watched our dogs and took care of our home for us.  The plan was originally for them to come to India and for Adam to go back to Raleigh after getting us settled in Patna, but Adam was able to stay for the entire duration and work remotely which was truly what was best for Anjali.

As we headed back to our house, we began to get a sense of all the wonderful, thoughtful  things my parents did for us.  First, of course, was a car seat for Anjali.  They decorated the house up for our welcome home with flowers, balloons and signs.  They had a hearty American meal of ham, scalloped potatoes, and green beans waiting for us when we got home.  My father created a drainage area in our backyard and added some grass and many other little home projects.  Our dogs were happy and well fed and had the shiny coats that they always get whenever my mother is around to groom them. The list of thoughtful, loving things they did for us goes on and on...I will never be able to thank them enough.  There were gifts waiting from other family members as well.  Books from my brother and family, a beautiful Mexican table and chairs and teapot set from Nana, Adam's mom, a dress and subscription gifts from Papi and Pixie, Adam's father and stepmother, and a couple of boxes of clothes from Aunty Tata and Gemma and Giselle, Adam's sister and daughters.  It sure is wonderful to have such a loving supportive family to come home to!

For the first couple of days, we really relied on my parents as the exhaustion and jet lag kicked in.  There was a lot to do around the house as we had not had the chance to childproof the house or get Anjali's room ready.  We got a few necessities and my parents brought home toys and some clothes for Anjali once they got to know her a bit.  

The first week back was a bit of a fog.  Anjali took to my parents right away.  Every morning when she woke up, the first thing she wanted to do was to go down and see them.  My mother was able to speak Hindi to her and I credit her with successfully potty training Anjali while she was here.  We got a little toilet for her and then my mom got a second one for her for downstairs.  She also had a talk with her in Hindi about how it wasn't nice for her to go in her diapers and make her mom clean up after her.  It seemed to work!

Halloween was a week from when we got home, so we all decided to be zoo animals for Halloween though we weren't sure what we would do for Halloween.  I was a panther, Adam was a bird, my father was a gorilla and my mother was a leopard.  And Anjali was the cutest zebra ever.  Adam made her a really sweet zebra dress and then she put on zebra ears and striped stalkings.  We ended up just trick or treating around the neighborhood which worked out well.  There were a lot more kids than there had ever been before and Anjali thought it was amazing that you could go from door to door to get candy.  It was the perfect American holiday to start her out with!

Anjali was a little timid around Papi and Leela at first.  They were very gentle with her and she quickly got comfortable with them. She especially likes to give them kisses and tell them what to do.

We shared lots of nice meals together and took Anjali for walks at Lion's park where there is a nice playground in a wooded area.  The time with my parents went by fast as we began to recover and get used to our new life as a family in Raleigh.  Family and home, home and family...I think I have truly learned to appreciate both more than ever through this journey.

x

Delhi: The Final Stretch

I wish I could say that our time in Delhi went smoothly and was stress free, but for me it was possibly the most stressful time of all.  We were able to take a direct flight from Pune to Delhi that left at 11:00 am on October 18th.  It was a quick two and a half hour flight.  Anjali had become a pro at flying by this point.  We got her a small Indigo plane as a souvenir of all of her flights so far and she was even beginning to understand the importance of wearing a seatbelt at takeoff and landing.

I was full blown sick with a chest cold by this point and all I wanted to do was get to our guesthouse so I could rest before our medical appointment the following day. Anjali was also a bit conjested, but seemed to be more on the mend. Our in country reps, Mini and Sanjeev were there to pick us up from the airport and it was great to see them.  Delhi has the world's worst air pollution followed ironically by Patna and I could feel the impact of the smoggy air on my lungs.  The other thing about Delhi is that the traffic is awful.  Our guesthouse was in South Delhi near the Sarita Vihar metro stop and we chose it specifically because it was near a metro stop.  Delhi has a wonderful metro system that was built quickly and revenue generating within the first week of being built.   New stations are being built all around the city.

Our guesthouse hosts, Atul and Marina were lovely and helpful.  It was a three story house where we stayed.  Atul's parents live on the bottom floor, while Atul and family live on the second floor and then there are rooms for guests on the top floor.  We ate a light lunch with our hosts and then Anjali and I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the following morning.

Medmax the medical facility where Anjali had to get her checkup was approximately 10 miles from where we were staying.  Our appointment was at 11:00 am so we left an hour early.  Unfortunately, we got stuck in gridlock traffic and arrived an hour late.  I was barely functional at that point, but luckily it was a great facility and they saw us right away despite our lateness.  We met with a doctor who did a brief check up of Anjali and looked over the medical and vaccination records for Anjali.  Then a nurse gave Anjali the TB injection.  She was very brave and only whimpered slightly when she felt the needle prick. We were in and out in less than a half an hour.  We had coffee with Mini and Sanjeev after the appointment.  Mini got Anjali and I some medication for our congestion.  Anjali was definitely feeling better, but me not so much.  I went home  and slept all afternoon while Adam looked after Anjali.  Our guesthouse was near a big park and also there was a close by playground.  Anjali is a very active girl and loves going to the playground, so having parks within walking distance was a huge blessing.

Atul and Marina have an 8 year old son and 10 year old daughter and both played with Anjali.  They are such a sweet family and it was nice to spend time with them.  Anjali warmed up to Marina and Atul as well.  It was nice to see the progress she has made in her social skills.  She is now comfortable and secure that we are a family and is beginning to engage with others once she gets to know them.  She is a naturally social girl and I am happy she is beginning to open up to others.

Our follow up at Medmax went very smoothly on Saturday.  We were in and out in about 45 minutes.  I was grateful that the medical portion was so easy and that it was at such a nice facility.  I was beginning to feel better on Saturday, but I can't think of a worse place to be than Delhi if you have a chest cold.  I was coughing quite violently from the congestion and bad air.

We were still waiting on a birth certificate from Nalanda which we needed for our Embassy appointment on Monday and we were also trying to find a way to wire the remaining foreign adoption fees which we learned we still owed while in Pune.  We figured we could probably use the court order if the birth certificate didn't come through, but Nalanda ended up emailing us a copy of the birth certificate on Sunday which was a relief.

On Sunday, we took the metro across town to Novelty Exports.  This is the shop where Adam and I got our wedding rings in 2009.  Adam lost his wedding ring while we were living in Germany and we had come back last December during our first visit to get another ring.  I lost my wedding ring this past summer during a tether ball game against Adam while visiting his parents in Seattle, so I was eager to get a replacement.  Novelty Exports is a family owned shop owned by a family from Kashmir with jewelry and items from around India.  We ordered the rings and bought gifts for family back home.  The shop owner gave Anjali a pretty green scarf that she loves to wear. We stopped off in Connaught Place for lunch and bought another carry on suitcase then headed home.

Our embassy appointment on Monday was a bit disappointing in the sense that it was kind of like going to DMV to get your license.  The embassy is in a really beautiful part of Delhi where most of the embassies are and the roads are lined with beautiful greenery.    I felt so happy to see the U.S. Embassy when we arrived.  You have to check in your cell phones at a kiosk on the other side of the embassy.  While we were going through security, my flash drive was found which is also a forbidden item to bring in to the embassy, so Adam had to run back out to the kiosk before we could enter.  Once through security we were directed to follow a red line that takes you inside the embassy.  The staff is all behind glass and you are given a number and told to take a seat until you see your number appear on the computer screen.  The good news is that adoption cases do receive priority and we were called up quickly.  Adam went up to the window while I stayed with Anjali in a small play area for children.  The credit card machine wasn't working, but luckily Adam had enough cash on him to pay the fees.  Finally, we were called up for our interview.  I had envisioned that the interview would take place in someone's office, but it was just at a different window.  We had to take an oath at the window and then were asked a series of questions.  It was all very efficient, but really impersonal.  We were told that the embassy had not received the Article 23 from CARA and would need that before they could issue Anjali's visa.

We left and headed for the CARA office.  Mini phoned Dr. Pati who is sort of the head honcho (can't remember what his official title is) at CARA.   He saw us once we arrived and directed his staff to get us a copy of the Article 23 while we waited in his office.   We got the copy and also had the staff give us a copy of the email that they sent to U.S. Embassy.  We then went back to the U.S. Embassy and hand delivered the Article 23 just to make sure.  We were told that Anjali's visa would be ready by 2:00 on the following day.

We got the visa with no issues the following day then stopped back by Novelty Exports to pick up my ring.  We had an early dinner with Mini at a vegetarian restaurant and then headed for the airport getting there a little earlier than planned.  At about 7pm we were able to check in our baggage and then headed for the immigration line and we really thought we were on our way home at that point.  

And then our world unraveled.  The immigration agent called in his superiors who told us coldly that we needed to get an exit permit for Anjali and that we would need to rebook our tickets once we got it. What ensued was many hours of arguing with immigration and airport officials.  We couldn't believe that after all we had been through we would get blindsided by this while going through immigration and we knew it was a power ploy by a disgruntled official. We were so exhausted and upset when we finally left and poor Anjali was a wreck as well.  We left the airport at around 1am and had to search for a hotel room.  We stopped at Ibis and Holiday Inn that were both fully booked and then just ended up staying at the JW Marriot, one of the most expensive hotels in Delhi because it had rooms and we coudn't bear to keep looking.

The following day Adam went out to figure out what to do about the exit permit while Anjali and I stayed at the hotel.  He first went to the U.S. Embassy then to the CARA office where he was basically told that you shouldn't need an exit permit, but since immigration is asking for it, you should go ahead and get it so you don't have any problems.  Then he went to the FRRO office to get the "exit permit."  It turns out it is the parents not the child who can be issued an exit permit.  Nobody at the FRRO office knew what to do and Adam was there for 5 hours dealing with it.  He met another couple from Chicago who also had spent the last couple of months in Gujarat fostering their daughter and who had been sent over by the U.S. Embassy after what happened to us.  We needed a C form from our hotel and passport photos of each of us which luckily we had.  My husband returned from the office totally exhausted with our exit permits and we decided we wouldn't leave until Thursday.  We struggled a bit to get our tickets changed, but finally got an United agent on the phone who changed our tickets free of charge.

We spent the following day resting up at the hotel.  We slept in late.  We took Anjali to the pool where she tooled around in the water with Adam.  Luckily we could do a late check out and we left the hotel at around 8 pm.  Adam was much calmer at this point, but I was still on edge not believing we would get through.

At the airport, we had a kind United agent console us for what happened and apologize for immigration.  We were directed to go to the diplomat line in immigration and were never asked for the exit permits.  From there we got some snacks for the flight, exchanged our last rupees and went to the boarding gate.  We were so relieved.  Going home FINALLY!!!   I have never been so happy to board a plane for a fifteen hour flight.

Homecoming #1: Mumbai and Pune

I can't tell you how happy we were to finally be going to Mumbai and Pune to visit family.  I had really hoped we would get there sooner, but we really needed to be in Patna to see that every step was taken care of or it simply would not have gotten done.  I am certain of this.  Our flight had a layover in Lucknow though we did not get off the plane and the flying time from Patna to Mumbai was about 3 hours.  Anjali did fine on the flight.  She didn't sleep, but she had enough to keep her occupied.  There were some really fabulous billowy clouds on the way and we looked at them in wonder as we traveled through them.

My cousins Aarti and Sarita met us at the airport in Mumbai.  They gave us big hugs and a warm welcome.  Mumbai had always been our first stopping place on trips to India when I was growing up.  My Uncle Daji, who was a Superior Court judge settled there while Aarti, Sarita, and their two brothers Niranjan and Jaideep were growing up. We passed the apartment where they used to live as we traveled on the highway to Sarita's apartment.  We drove across the Sea Link bridge, a new cable suspended bridge that wasn't there when we visited in 2009.  The bridge reminded me of the Bay Bridge in the Bay Area.  We felt like we were back in the 21st Century again.

Sarita had a roomful of balloons waiting for Anjali as we entered the apartment.  This totally broke the ice for Anjali.  She couldn't resist playing with the balloons.  Then came the cake for her with candles and her name on it.  She felt so special and enjoyed cutting the cake and eating the frosting.  She warmed up to Sarita first who she followed into the kitchen and in no time Sarita was holding her.  Sarita's daughter, Ruhika was there for a bit before she had to go to class.  She is studying clinical psychology and also is the lead singer in a band!  We were able to listen to a recording of her singing and were so impressed.  Anjali is quite musical and perked up when the music came on.  Sarita made us a really delicious fish curry that evening.  When we finished Anjali spent about a half an hour playing with balloons with Aarti.  Both worked up a sweat from the back and forth game. We headed to bed early as the plan was to drive to Pune in the morning.   

When we woke up Raja, Sarita's husband was there as he had gotten in late that night from a business trip.  We had a quick breakfast and then headed out to Pune.  Mumbai hasn't really changed that much, but Pune has become a metropolis in my lifetime.  It has been India's fastest growing city for the past 20 years and I am blown away by how much it has changed and grown.  Predictions are that soon Mumbai will connect with Pune.  The highway to Pune was easy traveling and the area between Pune is mountain resort towns.  Big billboards were everywhere advertising getaways and vacation homes. 

We visited my aunt Akkamau first.  She is the oldest of my mother's sisters and sort of the head of the family.  She lives with my cousin Sunnu, his wife Archana, their college age son Arthava and their two big dogs, Max and Bruno.   She has been a great support for us sending emails to me filled with advice and messages of encouragement.  She was so happy to see little Anjali. We had a wonderful lunch prepared by Archana and Akkamau had made a couple of dresses for Anjali that she of course wanted to try on immediately.  My Aunt Vijimau called from Banglore who I had hoped to visit as well, but there was just not enough time.  My cousins Anu and Alka stopped by and then there was more cake for Anjali sent compliments of her aunt Suja.  There were two more meals served that evening even though we were told we would eat a light dinner!  Everyone made us feel so welcomed and Anjali warmed up to everyone very quickly.  It was as if she knew this was family.  She wasn't clingy and was fascinated with Max and Bruno, though didn't pet them until the next day. 

The following days were a whirlwind.  We went to the Pune zoo and went to a McDonalds afterwards.  Anjali didn't care too much for the food, but loved the playroom that had a trampoline and inflatable slide.  Everyone took turns holding Anjali and interacting with her at the zoo.  She had so much fun.  The following day my cousin Chitra paid us a visit on her lunch break.  Anjali and I were both coming down with a cold at that point, but having fun regardless.

The following day we spent the morning getting passport photos that we would need in Dehli and buying a few gifts.  We spent the afternoon with Akkamau and family then headed to my cousin Niranjan's house.  Niranjan is actually working in Australia right now, but we got to spend time with my aunt Taimau, his wife Shilpa and my nieces Tanvi and Janvi.  Then we headed to my cousin Anu's house for dinner.  On the way there we passed by the wedding hall where we got married which is near Niranjans apartment.   My aunt Surekha, cousin Shaila also came to visit.  We had a delicious south India meal.  

The following morning we headed for Delhi.  The visit was way too short, but I was so grateful to have had the opportunity to bring Anjali home to her family in India.  It meant so much to see everyone and they were all so loving towards Anjali and made her feel so special.  Anjali can feel proud of her culture and heritage knowing she has so many people who love her in India.  My generation in our family has spread their wings wide and far around the world.  I have cousins in Malaysia, England, Oman, Dubai, Australia, Canada and Bahrain.  Hopefully Anjali will have the opportunity to some day visit them all and we will definitely take her back to India when she is older.