Two Steps Backward, One Step Forward

Two weeks ago, we got an email late Friday night from our caseworker.  I had already gone to bed and didn't get it until the morning.  It was the start of the weekend and I wasn't expecting any new news, and unfortunately this was bad news.  Even though we thought we already had our ARC approval, it turns out we didn't.  There was a miscommunication and the ARC committee decided they needed for Anjali to have a new physical exam before they would issue it.  I was devastated by this email.  It's one thing to be waiting endlessly for news, it's a whole other thing to get news that you are two steps behind where you thought you were in the process.  7 months and no ARC...unbelievable.  My caseworker said it was time to let Ms. Gandhi know,  Maneka Gandhi is the minister of women and children and she is very concerned about cleaning up the slow adoption process.  Our story is turning out to be a model example of all that is wrong with the system.

The following week Anjali got a new physical exam.  On a positive note, it was quite detailed and nice to get new information on her and know she is healthy and growing.  Our caseworker wrote a letter to Ms. Gandhi.  Then, of course came the mad rush to get documents signed, notarized and apostilled.  I immediately emailed back the signed medical report, but my caseworker got word that we would need to get the notarized copies to them.  A pricey fedex package was sent out on Friday to get them the notarized documents as soon as possible.  Saturday morning brought more bad news.  A massive 7.9 earthquake (bhukamp in Hindi) hit Nepal.  Bihar was also hit with an earthquake and dealing with aftershocks.  I was able to get a hold of Anjali's former nurse.  She called the orphanage and found out that everything was okay there, but described the aftershocks as horrible due to their intensity and frequency.  I was relieved that everything was okay at the orphanage, but knew that this was all certain to cause delays.  First sign of delays came on Monday when my caseworker discovered that Fed Ex packages were taking a week to arrive in Bihar which meant that SARA would not receive the notarized document until the following Monday.  I had no hope of news this week, but then...

Wednesday was my mother and Adam's birthday.  I had a busy morning and wasn't expecting any news at all when I got a text from Adam stating, "I got an ARC approval for my birthday!".  I checked my email and indeed there it was...an email from my caseworker, with the ARC attached.  Hallellujah!!!  So now we are again waiting for NOC.  I am hopeful that now that Ms. Gandhi is aware of our case, we will get NOC quickly (maybe for mother's day?)...but I am careful these days about being optimistic.  We still have quite a ways to go...but I will take this unexpected piece of progress even if it is one step forward after taking two steps backward.

The Rhythms of the Week in Adoptionland

Update:  nothing...nada...zilch.  Still no word on NOC.  There is a rhythm to the week in this adoption process...it's predictable and I recognize it now that I have joined a Facebook group for people adopting from India.  I thought it was just me...but others on this journey are clearly following the same pattern.  So Monday mornings are the most hopeful, exciting part of the week.  You've convinced yourself all weekend that this will be the week you get good news.   India is approximately 12 hours ahead of us, so the business day has completed, and if you are going to get any news for that day, it will likely get to you in the morning. Every morning starts with reaching for your phone to check for news.  You get used to getting blinded by the cell phone rather than waiting until your eyes have adjusted. Tuesday is also a hopeful day...more news in general from agencies seems to come on that day.  Wednesday and Thursday are hold your breath days...you can still convince yourself that good news is coming and often you get some message from your agency that they are working on it. Based on the India Facebook group postings, a lot of news comes on Friday.  This week there was a lot of good news posted on the group on Friday.  One woman sailed through three steps of the process in a record 2 weeks time, but usually it's little nuggets of good news.  Other weeks, it can be a lot of bad news...reports of delays or problems that have come up.  When other people report news on Friday and you haven't gotten any, you realize that you probably aren't going to get anything, though you increase the number of times you check your email just in case.  By Friday afternoon, the week is over.  The weekend is the long wait when you are certain you won't get any news...you often have this one thought that under normal circumstances would never occur--weekend, hurry up and be over. It's been a true blessing to have been introduced to this Facebook adoption group.  People in the group are so helpful and supportive and it really helps you maintain your sanity as well as learn about the process through other people's experience.  It's neat to watch everyone's journey and it really fills you up with hope and joy when you see pics or video sent in from India from members who go to get their children after such a hard fought process.

This week marks the one year anniversary of receiving our referral for Anjali.  April 15, 2014 was the day we received our first picture of her and I fell in love.  I just remember thinking, she is so beautiful...her eyes pulled me into a trance and  I knew she was the one.    She has grown so much since that photo and I'm sure she's grown quite a bit since our visit in December.  We still haven't decorated her room because we would have to walk through it every day to get to ours and that would be too much we think.  But I've been buying things for her room as I find them.    I bought a growth chart for her to put on the wall a couple of weeks ago.  I hope and pray it's not too long before I can watch her grow before my own two eyes every single day.  I want so much for Anjali to get here soon, so we can begin to settle into our own rhythm dictated by her needs and  whatever rhythm is required to help us develop our relationship as mother and daughter.